Giving 0 Fucks

Posted 28 January 2016 by

I have somehow convinced myself that anytime I get sick it is the universe’s way of telling me to chill the fuck out. This happens to be one of those times…this is day two of some sort of flu like something and I have to say it certainly puts shit in perspective. So I decided this is probably an apt time to put together my list of things I give absolutely zero fucks about especially when I am sick.

  1. Emails: So I emailed everyone I was sick and yet the expectation is I should write you back NOW because it is URGENT. You know what is urgent? Me over the toilet bowl the last two and a half hours…I give zero fucks about responding to your email that can wait until tomorrow…in fact I don’t really give a fuck even when IĀ feel good to be honest…
  2. Children: I love you and I love your child…really I do, but the fact that Timmy learned his multiplication tables or Jenna knows how to say leche (Spanish for milk) well let’s say right now I could probably could not care less about this. Yes your child is a genius because every child is a genius. I don’t have a child…maybe someday when I do I will give a fuck, but right now…yup zero…
  3. Food: Don’t want to see it, smell it, talk about it or watch it…with the exception of white rice and apple sauce. So the fact that you just chowed down on the most epic burger ever at In N Out… yup you guessed it…
  4. Trump: Whether I am sick or not… ZERO fucks…
  5. Trends: Here is the thing about trends…they come, they go, they come back again. So why the fuck should I care what the latest anything is? Tomorrow it will be something else that happened last year or forty years ago that everyone will be completely ape shit over . To me trends and Trump are part of the same thing… Zero fucks anytime and anywhere…
  6. Showering: I actually do give a fuck up water and wasting water when we are in a drought so here is to not showering when you are sick for a good cause…
  7. Your Selfies: Ya know these used to be called portraits or photographs…so I don’t really care about your lame duck face in front of the Hollywood sign
  8. The Kardashians: Let’s lump them in with trends and Trump…
  9. Talking on the Phone: I don’t really like doing this period, but certainly not when I am sick in bed with a hot water bottle, a can of flat diet ginger ale and saltines lying next to my head. I don’t care about your day, your ex, your shitty day. I give a fuck about sleeping and not throwing up…

That pretty much covers it… what do you give zero fucks about when you are sick? Comment below to let me know! Actually… DON’T cause I give ZERO FUCKS

Post Details

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.Required fields are marked *

*